Beard-A-Versary food

I love having people over.
If I thought I could stand the 1950 or 60's misogyny, I'd have fit right in as the perfect little hostess housewife. There is nothing I love better than having my house full of people I love (and a few people I just tolerate) with a glass of something bubbly and compliments on my food.
But I really hate cleaning up after it all.

This year for Beard-A-Versary I get to plan the who shebang. Decorations, food and finally get the house in the order it needs to be in. We've got 30 odd people coming and it makes me very excited to be the hostess. But then thinking about cleaning up after everyone makes me wish I didn't like hosting things so much. On the Sunday after Beard-A-Versary, Woody, me and a few friends have planned to go camping in Death Valley. Yep, you got that right, after a night of drinking and mess making I'm going to pack my ass up and drive five hours to camp in the desert. With this in mind I've planned the menu accordingly. Everything can be done in the week preceding the party and I am taking some major shortcuts. The menu you ask?

I honestly am daunted by the idea of rolling my own meatballs. It is entirely too stressful so I'm taking that whole idea out and instead, going to hunt for some frozen meatballs to try instead.
This recipe is SO easy.

Thunder(meat)balls:
1 (2 pound) bag frozen Rosina Home style Meatballs
1 (10 ounce) bag frozen organic tri-colored sweet peppers
1 (14 ounce) can jellied cranberry sauce
1 (12 ounce) jar Chili Sauce
Salt
Freshly ground pepper
Red pepper flakes, optional but recommended
Cooked rice
Instructions
1. Add the cranberry sauce, chili sauce, a pinch of salt, some pepper, and a dash of red pepper flakes to taste to a pot and bring to a simmer. Stir often and turn off heat when the two sauces combine.
2. Place the frozen meatballs, frozen peppers, and sauce mixture into a slow cooker and cook over low heat for about 6 to 7 hours or on high heat for about 4 to 5 hours.
3. Serve over rice if desired.
(Recipe by Laura Flowers)

See how easy? I might just use grape jelly because I've had it prepared with it and its so delicious! All I got to do is toss everything in the slow cooker and, presto, I'm all done.

I am so looking forward to trying this next one. Lady fingers can be bought pre-made and this looks like the only thing I'll actually have to prepare the day of.

Gold(lady)finger toasts with Chambord and Amaretto dip:
LADYFINGER TOASTS:
1 package (3 ounces) ladyfingers
2 to 3 tablespoons Chambord Liqueur (or raspberry extract) or Amaretto Liqueur (or almond extract)
1 tablespoon sugar
1/8 teaspoon allspice
Vegetable cooking spray

Lightly spray baking sheet with vegetable cooking spray; set aside. Split and separate ladyfingers. Place on baking sheet, split sides up. Brush with liqueur or extract. In small bowl combine sugar and spice. Sprinkle over ladyfingers. Bake at 250 degrees for 20 minutes. Turn off heat and continue baking additional 15 minutes. Cool completely. Serve with Chambord and Amaretto Dip if desired (see below). Makes 24 pieces

CHAMBORD AND AMARETTO DIP:
1 package (3 3/8 ounces) vanilla instant pudding mix
3 cups cold milk
1/4 cup Chambord Liqueur (or 2 teaspoons raspberry extract)
1/4 cup Amaretto Liqueur (or 2 teaspoons almond extract)
2 cups frozen whipped topping (thawed)

Mix pudding and milk on low speed of electric mixer until blended. Continue mixing until smooth and creamy, about two minutes. Divide into 2 bowls. Add Chambord liqueur to one bowl and Amaretto liqueur to the second bowl. Fold 1 cup whipped topping into each bowl. Chill until serving time. Serve with ladyfinger toast and fresh fruit. Note: Chambord or Amaretto can be substituted with any liqueur you desire.

Since it is supposed to be like the James Bond film Goldfinger, I plan on using yellow confectioner's sugar for the sugar in the toasts to make it extra yellow. But I'm not quite sure how I feel about using pudding and whipped topping for the dip. I'm feeling that a combination of plain yogurt and vanilla yogurt might make it a little tangy and tasty. I'm probably going to have to try it out this weekend.

Octopussy Jello Shots:
Not going to lie, this is what I'm most excited about.
This recipe is so perfect!
Just clear jello, ice cube trays, simple syrup, berries and vodka. Lovely! I like it because they look classy and not like what you get at a kegger. My Partner In Crime had the brilliant idea to put gummy octopus inside the jello shots to make them fit in perfectly with the theme. I may have to twist her arm to get her to use Absolut's Apeach or Pears because I don't like blueberry Stoli.

Last but not least;

From Russia with Love Punch:
Ingredients:
One bottle of a bubbly drink. (a sweet Champagne, ginger ale, lemon lime soda, fizzy water, etc)
1/4 - 1/2 a can of frozen concentrated pink lemonade (or any other pink drink in concentrated form)
8 ounces flavored vodka (I'm going to use my favorite Absolut Apeach)
water to taste.

Add all to a large punch bowl or drink dispenser, mix well. Add water to taste. To serve cold in a drink dispenser, do large pieces of ice. They'll melt slower.

The frozen concentrated drink is what gives this a major kick. The sweetness of the concentrated juice will counteract the alcohol. But, can give drinkers MAJOR heart burn if not watered down properly. I had a ridiculous experience after a breakup where I was dead set on using my new blender in my brand spanking new apartment the evening after I got dumped. So I looked up delicious drinks and found the Pink Panty. Frozen pink lemonade, vodka, ice and cool whip. It was delicious, but it knocked me on my ass and the lemonade gave me excruciating heartburn because it wasn't watered down enough. I guess the four shots of vodka didn't count.

In other news, I got my mustache in the mail. It is lovely, and I'm way excited to wear it. All I have to do now is trim it so it looks more natural. I'm counting down the days till Beard-A-Versary. Its ridiculous how excited I am.